Sunday, August 12, 2007

Your babies are ugly! All of them! ...except two.

Today was the third week Child and I attended our "married student" church, where 70% of the people have a baby under a year old and 60% of them are expecting in the next two months. 1% (Child and I) have neither a baby nor are expecting.

As you might guess, this has caused some problems, mostly for Child, who feels (fairly enough) that she is somewhat of an outsider and that nothing relates to her. Our sacrament meeting was composed of ten or so short talks, assigned by the bishop and given by the church members, illustrating faith. Most of them had something to do with childbirth.

"My wife was in labor for thirty pain-filled hours but we had faith..."
"I had these various complications with the pregnancy but thanks to faith..."
"My wife had horrible nausea and cramps for the last eight months of her pregnancy but with faith..."

I'm setting next to Child cringing. At the end, Child leans over to me and says scowls, "We're never having children."

Curses! I'm having a hard enough time convincing her she wants a baby.

Then we split up for our guy/girl classes. Afterwards, I reported that us guys learned about reverence. Child grumpily said she had learned about how to teach your children to be reverent.

She also handed me a schedule of activities for the women she had gotten. I was pleased, because the previous week she had complained that the only activities were for women with babies. "Hey, you like swimming, you can go to the swimming group!" I suggested.

She pointed to the description. "Come enjoy the shade and company while you watch your children swim..."

"How about the walking group?" I suggested.

"Join us as we push strollers around the neighborhood..."

"The cooking group?"

"Want to make your own baby food? Come learn how..."

Poor Child. I feel for her, I really do.

There was one bright note: our meeting time will be moved from 8:30 AM to 10:30 AM in two weeks. It won't solve any of the underlying problems, but at least Child won't have to face them on too-little sleep. :)


kadusey said...

Yeah, Mike and my married student ward at BYU was pretty much the same as that. It sucked. Nothing for people without kids. I've heard not all the married student wards are like that though, so maybe you could try ward-hopping a bit until you find one you feel more comfortable with? Also, Child could always try suggesting no-kids-related enrichment activities (a few of those got started up right before we moved out of our Wymount ward, and I was sad I missed of the other girls without any kids had suggested them to the enrichment committee).

A few ideas she could suggest: couples-only dessert/date night once a month, book club, newly-married club (rather than the new-moms club). Really, anything that might be fun. Intra-mural teams were a popular activity for some of our ward members.

If none of that works, good luck surviving the ward until you move somewhere else. It can be hard.


Anonymous said...

In our married ward at BYU, about half the couples didn't have any children. Not sure what percentage of those were expecting though.

And while most of those activities sound more like playgroups, Child may like going to one or two just to make friends with the women. Even though I'm expecting, it feels kinda weird to go to them without a child. Still, I want to make some friends.

Kirsa made a good suggestion on asking for no-kids-related enrichment activities. New moms are so wrapped up in their children, that they forget that there are others that don't have children. Also, they haven't gotten tired yet of doing stuff for kids.

Still, I'm sure the women would love to have a "Girls Night" of some kind sometime. You may end up having some babies there with their moms, but at least the focus isn't on the kids. :)

PS. Tell Child that while women like comparing horror stories of childbirth and pregnancy, many births are comparatively easier. I'm hoping mine falls into that second category. :)