This morning, I woke to find that a mouse had brazenly eaten the cheese from the mousetrap with the unmitigated audacity to not die in it. Even more offensive, he left a taunting note to the effect of "Sucker!" behind.
Okay, he may not have left a note, per se, but I could tell he had thought of it. I reset the trap with the cheese embedded deeper than a CNN journalist in Iraq and placed it back under the sink.
An hour later, a spider the size of the hamburgers in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs was discovered in the hallway to much shrieking and violent jumping about. My wife was also a little startled by it. I quickly vacuumed it up, then extracted the plastic vacuum container to empty it out. Imagine my surprise when I discovered two mice saboteurs inside, a little wide-eyed and windswept but very much alive.
Caught red-handed, their protests of innocence did them no good and I delivered them to the gallows. Our chicken executioners made short work of one, but let the other escape to warn his comrades.
The stakes have been raised.