Whodunit?

The mystery would not have confounded Sherlock Holmes. It probably wouldn't have confounded a six-year-old, blindfolded child.

The crime scene:

Clues of note: the plant was a catnip plant, recently removed from its enclosed plastic greenhouse and transplanted into an open can. This can was placed on the ground at approximately cat-eye-level.

Relatedly, a cat (a.k.a. "Acouchi") was also recently transplanted, from the vet clinic where she had spent the last week and a half getting radioactive iodine treatment for hyperthyroidism, to the home where the crime occurred. The alleged cat was suspected to be harboring intense feelings of hatred towards those responsible for putting her into the vet clinic for a week and half, as well as a love of catnip. She also had no alibi for the night in question.

Motive: Check.

Opportunity: Check.

Perpetrator: "Who's hiding it? And tomorrow night I'm peeing on your beanbag chair with radioactive pee."

Pros and Cons

Things I like:

• Helmets. It only takes one hit to the head to make a helmet worth every penny you paid for it. Especially when you're canyoneering, miles from medical help. They're hot, uncomfortable, and make my hair do weird things so it took me a while to like them, but after that first rock to the helmet, I won't go canyoneering without them.
• Biking. Last Saturday morning (6:45 AM) I went biking in the hills behind Draper with a couple friends. You could probably call it "mountain biking" but it was more "casual hill biking." Either way, it was a lot of fun.
• Ultimate Frisbee. Especially fun if you play with people who aren't quite as hardcore as some can be. Incidentally, one of my favorite presents are a set of orange cones that Child got me. They're always a big hit for pick-up games.
  
• Gardens. Our most recent set of plants (zucchini, green beans, and squash) have all shot up. Also, our green beans that we sneakily planted across the street in a vacant lot have sprouted, but they're pretty much growing in gravel so I'm not sure how well they'll do.
• Spiritual insights. I love getting inspirations to questions I've had--especially if they're mathematically-based. :)
  

Things I don't like:

• Dying pea plants. Why, my little pea plants, why?! I water you every day!
• Child being unhappy. Acouchi will be in the hospital for two weeks, and Child is sad because of this.
• How easily distracted I am. I shouldn't be blogging right now, I should be working on my story. So...goodbye.
  

Mechanical Mouse Pill Delivery System

In case it's a little tricky to pick up from the audio on the video clip, Acouchi has taken to hiding at the far end of the ledge over the stairs, which we had earlier given her access to. Unfortunately, she was recently diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, which means she needs a treatment of meth every morning and evening (methimazole, a small pill).

Fortunately, my brother Matthew gave her a present last Christmas of a remote-control mouse. As it turns out, that's the perfect delivery mechanism to get the pill to her.

Acouchi

For all her surprising friendship with our neighbor's three dogs, Acouchi still does not like other cats.

We let Acouchi out the morning for a few minutes under close supervision. She eventually made her way to the backyard, realizing half-way there that she was being stalked by one of Bell's babies--now pretty much full-grown but still smaller than Acouchi (Acouchi is a good-sized cat).

At first it didn't worry Acouchi too much, but as the black cat continued to follow her, Acouchi finally stopped and had a staring match with him. Unfortunately, due to this staring match, she was unaware of a second cat sneaking up on her from the rear until the other cat had almost reached her. Acouchi finally heard the second cat and spun around, then realized she was surrounded. She hissed in several directions, then booked it back to our door.

Moments later, of course, she was back at the door wanting to go back out. Child and I decided to give her a bath, partly because she needed one, and partly because we hoped she would associate it with the outdoors and stop constantly whining to go out. She was not pleased with the bath, and spent the better part of the morning scowling at us.

Her day got worse. In the afternoon, Child brought over a kitten we are going to catsit for several days. If there's one thing Acouchi hates, more than dogs, more than full-grown cats, it's kittens. Acouchi hissed up a storm before fleeing to the bedroom, where I took her a chunk of cheese to apologize for bringing an intruder into her space.

Acouchi deigned to eat the cheese and I took her to our living room where Sushi was, and put her on top of a large box, out of Sushi's reach. She sat there and glowered at Sushi until Sushi fell asleep, then jumped down and ate Sushi's food. That accomplished, she crept up on Sushi but Sushi woke up, a crime apparently punishable by severe hissing and spitting. Sushi was still a little groggy and wasn't sure what was going on, and I told Acouchi to lay off. She jumped up on my desk in a huff and started shedding hair into my computer's fan, hoping to fry it like my last laptop, until I got her favorite cat toy and spritzed it with catnip to placate her. That granted me a few minutes of forgiveness, and both she and Sushi are now asleep. We'll see how the next few days go...

Halloween

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=4668843

Read that and tell me it's not a company trying to pull a marketing scam. Or maybe that's just obvious, and the joke's just going over my head.

To save you the time reading the link, it's a theater company that reported (today, on Halloween) that they hear ghostly footsteps on the stage, and a wooden sign flew out the window or something, and a few months ago some employees watched a mug lift in the air and crash into the wall. (Sure you didn't mean "floor" instead of wall?)

On a different subject.

We live in a little house, which is actually a four-plex. In the kitty-corner downstairs apartment, there's a lady with three dogs. There's a small, yappy chihuahua; a medium-sized, yappy terrier; and a fat, old (thankfully quiet) heeler of some sort.

Anyway, Acouchi's favorite pastime is sitting on my desk, watching the dogs out the front window. She's experienced them in person once before, when they decided to take advantage of our front door being propped open and came into our living room, driving Acouchi up the wall (literally, and from there onto an end-table). That wasn't too surprising, since Acouchi is terrified of everything. Child brought home a tiny kitten once, and Acouchi wouldn't come out from under the bed for hours.

However, apparently Acouchi has learned a little more about the dogs' personalities from watching them so long. I had the door propped open again while I brought stuff in yesterday, and Acouchi took the chance to explore the front porch. The chihuahua spotted her and raced towards her, yapping. I expected her to dash back inside, but to my shock, she lunged at the chihuahua!

Startled, the chihuahua jumped back, then cautiously came forward again and they sniffed noses for a minute. I was still in shock watching her, since this was incredibly out of character for our cat. Then the fat heeler came over, and Acouchi sniffed noses with her too before the neighbor came over to get the dogs back.

Child suggested it was because our neighbors (different neighbors) have a crowd of tough, outside cats who constantly boss the dogs around, and Acouchi may have seen how they did it and realized she could too. Either way, after I brought her back inside, she spent the rest of the day meowing and pawing at the front door, wanting to go back outside.

It's your own fault, cat.

Our cat, for one of those reasons known only to the perpetrator, decided to go to the bathroom in our living room instead of in her litterbox. As a result, I locked her in her private room (without TV--remember that, parents, when you send your kids to their room!) which is a closet off our kitchen.

Acouchi decided to retaliate by kicking over her water dish, which I had newly filled this morning, but that plan backfired when she found herself standing in a pool of water. The only retreat was into her litterbox, which promptly clumped with surprising efficiency around her wet feet. Unaware of this, I finally decided she'd learned her lesson and I let her out, at which point she promptly streaked across the kitchen trailing litter.

She was heading for our bed, but I snagged her and carried her to the bathroom, where I filled the tub with an inch of water. Did you know that water is about as effective on cleaning litter designed to clump when it gets wet as it is on oil? I finally dried off Acouchi and let her go, but now I have a closet with a wet floor smeared with kitty litter.

And my wife's in California for 13 more hours.

Come home soon!

Cat and Tape

Last night we had a friend over for some games, and amused ourselves by sticking little pieces of tape on Acouchi. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a proponent of cat-abuse, but Acouchi enjoyed it. She'd go crazy getting the tape off, then she'd race off and hide behind some furniture. A moment later she'd reappear stalking the abandoned piece of tape, then pounce on it and repeat the whole process over again when it became re-stuck to her. This morning, I'm sitting here typing while she's trying to eat the tape. I better take it away before it becomes stuck (heh heh) in her throat.

Acouchi's Drug Habit

Today, Acouchi experienced catnip for the first time. This catnip-infused object used to be a ball.


From the way Child reacted when I suggested getting the catnip, I think she expected small valuables around the house to start disappearing as Acouchi pawned them off to support a newly acquired catnip-habit; then Acouchi would become sullen, unresponsive and defensive, wreck the family car while high on catnip, then end up at a low-paying dead-end job flipping burgers in between stints at the county jail.

Jake the Malamute

Child's parents recently inherited a dog, Jake. He's a (large) malamute.

Acouchi wasn't exactly thrilled to see Jake on our front lawn, and we (read: Child) decided against introducing them at closer proximity, despite the fact that I had the video mode on my camera ready to go.

Wives and toilet seats

I think I'm the only person whose wife reminds him to leave the toilet lid up. (Not the seat, just the lid.)

Why? Because Child's cat is too finicky to drink from her water dish, choosing instead the "giant water bowl."

You're doin' it wrong.

This is the first post in my upcoming "You're doin' it wrong" series of pictures. I'd welcome other suggestions.

The Mac-Cat

Child and I watched a movie last night. We left briefly to find some food, and came back to find Acouchi apparently intrigued by the rolling credits. Perhaps she had a friend playing an extra in the movie, and was looking for the name.